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First and foremost: Leave the prompt in the author's comments, not in the actual piece. The piece should speak for itself, and when you start with the prompt that's all people will be able to see in your piece, even if you've done something truly interesting with it.
Second: This is an interesting idea, you've taken the prompt and made it your own. I want more. This reads very much like a summary. You don't really do much to draw the reader in or set the scene. I understand taking cute little writing prompts, but this is an idea you could really run with. Even in a very short piece.
For example: show me, don't tell me. You open the story with a statement that the little girl is adorable. So? You've got to prove she's adorable, really make me see it because it'll make the punchline of the story that much more rewarding. You can do this simply by describing traits that you think are adorable. Never say she's adorable. Give her traditionally cute mannerisms. All that good stuff. That in min ,d the way you gush about her being cute and adorable in the middle of the piece is kind of funny, so keep stuff like that in if that's what you're going for.
Furthermore, you should considering spend just a bit more time setting the scene. For example, at the beginning she takes the cupcakes out of the oven and a second later they're cute, frosted, and edible. In those moments, you lose my suspension of disbelief. Let your readers experience her wait for the cupcakes to cook, let your readers see them be frosted with special care. It's creepy.
Finally, rat poison. I'm pretty positive that's not what a rat poison death looks like. Only a few substances kill that quickly and that cleanly, and it's not rat poison. That kind of rat poisoning that can kill humans has glass in it and causes internal bleeding, which might take a bit of time. Do your research.
All in all, though, this is a very cute piece. But it lacks the sort of well-thought out pizzazz that's present in a lot of your other pieces. See what you can do with it.
[Critique from PowerfulWriting]
Second: This is an interesting idea, you've taken the prompt and made it your own. I want more. This reads very much like a summary. You don't really do much to draw the reader in or set the scene. I understand taking cute little writing prompts, but this is an idea you could really run with. Even in a very short piece.
For example: show me, don't tell me. You open the story with a statement that the little girl is adorable. So? You've got to prove she's adorable, really make me see it because it'll make the punchline of the story that much more rewarding. You can do this simply by describing traits that you think are adorable. Never say she's adorable. Give her traditionally cute mannerisms. All that good stuff. That in min ,d the way you gush about her being cute and adorable in the middle of the piece is kind of funny, so keep stuff like that in if that's what you're going for.
Furthermore, you should considering spend just a bit more time setting the scene. For example, at the beginning she takes the cupcakes out of the oven and a second later they're cute, frosted, and edible. In those moments, you lose my suspension of disbelief. Let your readers experience her wait for the cupcakes to cook, let your readers see them be frosted with special care. It's creepy.
Finally, rat poison. I'm pretty positive that's not what a rat poison death looks like. Only a few substances kill that quickly and that cleanly, and it's not rat poison. That kind of rat poisoning that can kill humans has glass in it and causes internal bleeding, which might take a bit of time. Do your research.
All in all, though, this is a very cute piece. But it lacks the sort of well-thought out pizzazz that's present in a lot of your other pieces. See what you can do with it.
[Critique from PowerfulWriting]